Choose Joy
WRITTEN BY DR. MICHAEL BEAU O’NEILL, MARCH 2024
For years, my mother made “Choose joy” a daily mantra. A farewell as I left for school or embarked on a journey of large or small scale. It was a familiar refrain… something she uttered countless times over the years, and she was, and is, consistent. This daily reminder growing up kept a flame going in me that was hard to burn out and easy to relight. Even today I often hear her telling my children, “Choose joy” and watch her fan their flames too. So why joy? Why not love, or happiness, or success? Why not tell us to crush it or dominate or go get’em! Why has joy been significant and worthy of daily attention and affirmation for forty-plus years, according to my mother? I believe the answer is multi-dimensional and has different layers for different people, but overall, I give credit to the Spirit, consciously, subconsciously, and unconsciously in both of us.
The ‘choice’ in “Choose joy” has become an automatic response, or “fast thinking,” according to Daniel Kahneman, that my mother projected and we both accepted.[1] Nonetheless, if it had not been ingrained in my soul for so many years, would joy be automatic? Would I have ‘joy endurance’ or the ability to ‘hop back on the joy wagon’ when I fall off with ease? I think not. It’s a decision similar to accepting Christ and fits comfortably with the character and lifestyle of Jesus. I believe the Spirit has been alive and active in my mother for a long time and she’s pretty clear on her understanding of it. Through her own experiences, she has come to realize that joy feels a lot like Jesus, and it would be wise for us to follow suit. She believes that choosing it each day will help us find the right path paved by Jesus, grow our own faith, and help us walk closely with God. To her, choosing joy or even saying it was like watering seeds in our family that have been growing and reproducing branches of Jesus’ vine, opening up the power for anything to be accomplished in His name.
Some may argue that people misinterpret the word joy or define it in unique ways. Christianity.com author Trey Soto argues that “joy has been misconstrued” and by choosing, “we take the control in our own hands and it becomes a type of counterfeit force”[2] I understand his point, but I think he also misses the overall understanding of joy as we practice it today, and he focuses too much on the origin and translation of joy instead of the feeling. In C.S. Lewis’s autobiography, Surprised by Joy, he describes joy as a “spiritual longing.” He believed that joy was “more than a feeling or emotion based on external circumstances.” He saw it as a deep spiritual craving “that went beyond pleasure or contentment.”[3] I can relate to Lewis’ spiritual longing in relation to joy, but I think that joy carries discontent for Lewis and Soto. Lewis coins this feeling as “Sehnsucht,” which is a German term used to describe “unsatisfied desire or a yearning for something transcendent.”[4] As expected, Lewis makes beautiful sense of his interpretation of joy; however, I would argue that I am not misinterpreting the word even though my definition or experience with joy is distinct. It seems to me that in time, culture, and certain groups, a word or the feeling of a word can have alternate meanings. For example, let’s use the word “gay.” Frankie Lemon certainly isn’t talking about homosexual birds in his song, Why Do Fools Fall in Love, when he asks, “Why do birds sing so gay?”[5] He’s talking about the sound of joy that emanates from birds and the positive spirit of the birds projecting their ‘songs and beauty.’ My interpretation of joy is much closer to Lemon’s use of gay than Lewis’ or Soto’s use of joy.
This may be my own biased refusal to accept another meaning of joy but that begs the question, how can we misinterpret a feeling? Am I simply misinformed and exploiting joy for happiness? Dr. Andrea Scott, George Fox University provost, made it very clear to us at our Cape Town Advance plenary session that “Joy and happiness are not indistinguishable.”[6] She stated, “You can be unhappy, but you can’t be unjoy.”[7] Her take on joy runs parallel with my mother’s. The dedication, submission, and follow-through of choosing joy for years becomes an understanding that no longer requires words after decades of practice. It may not be flawless, but it is definitely more than living happy and deeper than ‘having a great day.’ Choosing joy places responsibilities on both parties. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:27, “I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” If my mother was miserable and a terrible example of choosing joy in her daily life, her words or encouragement for my life would not hold any weight or credibility. Her request for me to choose joy automatically places the responsibility on her to lead a lifestyle that promotes joy. It’s a win/win that holds my mother accountable and a technique that can be used in relationships, organizations, networks, and the workplace.
Jim Wilder and Marcus Warner discuss joy as a central player in an atypical leadership style called R.A.R.E. In their books, Rare Leadership and Rare Leadership in the Workplace, they introduce this unique approach to leadership, emphasizing trust, engagement, and the often-overlooked element of joy. Their R.A.R.E. leadership philosophy teaches us to Remain Relational, Act Like Yourself, Return to Joy, and Endure Hardship. Wilder and Warner cite countless examples of finding joy in organizations and seeking it as a tool for leading people to maturity and results. Joy is the secret sauce that fuels a positive habit. Wilder and Warner, along with Dr. Scott and my mother, are confident that choosing joy is an understanding and lifestyle. It’s not a quick fix or convenient solution. It’s also not just a salutation, nor does it require decades of practice. It is a verb that requires intentional effort and can be contagious. It’s a Spirit-driven declaration to be the “light of the world.”
“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”[8]
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[1] Kahneman, Daniel, Thinking Fast and Slow.
[2] https://www.christianity.com/wiki/christian-life/why-christians-shouldnt-choose-joy-what-choose-instead.html
[3] Lewis, C.S., Surprised by Joy.
[4] Chat GPT, Prompt: CS Lewis view on Joy. Oct. 12, 2023.
[5] Lemon, Frankie; Why Do Fools Fall in Love? 1965. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6ccBf0cPsI
[6] Scott, Andrea. Cape Town Advance, Plenary Session. September, 2022.
[7] Ibid.
[8] Matthew 5:14-16, ESV.
